So many words we’ve spoken with empty promises made. Love is what I felt but life was my cruel reality. Screaming to find something better I thought I found that in you. Obviously I was wrong. You told me things that no one else ever has. I told you things that I couldn’t even tell my closest. I thought you were going to be different. I thought you cared but in the end it was nothing but my love gone wrong again. I cared for you the way no one has ever made me care before. A love I thought was true. A love I can’t deny and now I’m left with nothing but an empty, broken heart. Left out in the cold feeling like nothing could be worse. The feeling that everything that could go wrong with us has. I never thought I could feel the way about a person like I did and do about you and you opened my eyes to that new horizon then slammed the door in my face and left me with nothing. Was this our fate all along? All the words and thoughts keep running through my head. What did I do wrong? What could I have done right if I lost you in the end? I don’t even know if you could even imagine how I feel now and how I felt then. It’s like a crude joke you’ve played. I’m hoping it’s all just a dream that I can wake up from and everything will be ok again. I wish you could have just admonished me about what was to come of everything so I wouldn’t have felt the way I did. Maybe I wouldn’t have fallen so strong. Instead you alluded to something different. You acted like you liked me. You acted like you cared. Instead you were the bane of my heart. I wanted nothing more then to be with you. Nothing more then to make you happy. But you didn’t. You wanted someone else, but you liked my attention. Fantasies acted as our words. You felt like a blessing to me. A precious gift from above. Every time I talked to you I always felt better. You could make me smile when nobody else could. Thoughts of you now just make me berserk! I wanted so much more and you tore my heart out with a smile on your face. I want to scream when I hear your name! I hate you for everything you’ve done but I love you and I can’t forget about. I love you because of who I thought you were. How could you do that? How could you rip my heart out? You deluded me into thinking all these things and now what am I supposed to do? How can I go on knowing you have my heart but someone else has yours? Not even a day passed before you were gone. Like a lighting flash before I knew what was going on you changed my whole world. So you love her now and leave me behind in the dust. Like I wasn’t ever anything more then just a childhood toy you can just put away and forget about. Like the song says my body’s never known such pleasure, my heart’s never known such pain. You taught me about things about myself I never ever knew before. And how can I just let go? How did you? I guess I just don’t understand what I did wrong. I went along with everything. I thought that’s what you wanted. What’s she got that I don’t? The looks? Does she give you everything I didn’t? Would she follow everything you want her to? Will she be like me? Will you tell her everything and make her feel this way too? Will you leave her this way? Will she know this much pain? Will it be over in a flash with her too? Will I be forever stuck in my own little desolate world? These questions need to be answered for my heart to heal from the un-needed pain you’ve caused. I keep thinking maybe if I would have just walked up and said hi that day you wouldn’t have gone with her and you wouldn’t have felt this way and I’d never have had to feel this way. Maybe I could have stopped it. I keep envisaging you and her. Will I always have to be an entity? My fealty towards you know lost me any chance to make it all better. I lost the ones who truly cared. The ones who I looked past because of you. I need to find my felicity. I thought you were humane. But how could you be if you can do this. Do you even know what you are putting me through? Will I get over this hurt? I don’t need another friend. I need you. I don’t want to loose you as a friend but in ways I just want you to feel the same about me. Not the pain but the great feelings. What I hoped and thought you felt all along. I guess I was just dreaming. Every time I see you or talk to you I get languish. I feel like I can’t breathe and my heart aches with an intensity I’ve never known. No more tears can come out of me. My eyes are jaded from crying over you. The one I thought I knew better. The one I thought I could trust. The one I thought cared about me. I feel a qualm just thinking about you. I want to break down and cry. I hate the fact that I can’t get over you. I hate the fact I cared. I love you for who you are but I wish I could just get over you. I wish I could just leave these feelings behind like you did. So I wouldn’t be in pain over you anymore. Leave your thoughts behind. I know you could change everything if you wanted, but I know what you want, and I know it’s not me so nothing you could say would help. No empty sorry you could say would make it better. You say I’m important to you but I don’t see how you can say that when you act this way. When you can hurt me and not even know about it. Would you care if you knew? Would you try to make me feel better? Do you even want to? I want you to know what I feel because if I am important you’d want to know. I want to know how you feel about me too. I want to know how you felt. Were you just playing games? Did you never want anything more to begin with? Was every word you said a lie? Was every promise empty? Did you ever mean anything you said? I just need some answers. I need to know. It might be my only help in getting over you. To move on. To remain on friendly terms so I don’t have to be bitter anymore. So I don’t have to care. So I can be happy for you. Can you give me the answers and not get mad? Can you understand where I’m coming from and not be estranged from me? Will you still talk to me after you know everything? Or will you go away for good? Can we still be friends? Can we work things out and make things better again? I know they won’t ever be the same again and I don’t want them to. I don’t need you to be with me. I just need you and me to be happy. Even if I lost you forever because of my mistakes. You knew how I felt from day number one so now I just need to know... what about you?